WHAT I’VE LEARNT FROM GETTING ENGAGED IN MY EARLY 20’S

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For those of you who didn’t know Isaac & I got engaged before Christmas last year and it’s been a whirlwind. I thought I’d share a few things I’ve learnt since he put a ring on it.

A weird negative connotation
This was probably the first thing we noticed and it’s that older generations, not everyone this is a generalisation, think we’re crazy. There is no doubt marriage is a big commitment and it’s a milestone in your life but I’ve found when talking to older people they say really awful things. Most of the time it’s joking around like ‘you both are crazy’ and little remarks but overall it’s pretty shocking. It’s although there is a negative connotation that comes with marriage and we should almost be dreading getting married.

 

It can be lonely
It sounds sad but I’m only 22 and all my friends are in very different life circumstances whether they’re travelling, have moved away, are studying or single there isn’t anyone who is at this stage of their life. It’s not a bad thing, god I think all my friends are doing amazing things and really killing it at life but it just means the experience is a little bit less how you picture it when you’re at school. I always imagined that we’d all get married in a year space and we’d be helping each other and all that but it’s far from reality. Isaac and I are really enjoying the planning process and cannot wait to share our day with all over family and friends but it has been a little different from what I expected!

 

Everything is marketed towards the bride
I mean EVERYTHING. There are probably two or three magazines in the newsagents that have a picture of the bride AND groom as opposed to just a bride. It’s insane! Trying to find websites for inspiration for Isaac’s outfit is near impossible and if you’re wanting something out of the box for men be prepared to spend hours searching. One magazine I’d recommend is Hello May – it’s beautiful and filled to the brim of real weddings.

 

Society norms and expectations suck
We’re planning a really non-traditional wedding and when I’ve explained snippets to people around us often they’re confused. The one example I’ll use because it doesn’t give anything away is that we’re not having a bridal party. When we’ve been in stores explaining that people are often taken back and really rude. I don’t mind that but it’s funny that weddings are almost expected to be this formal thing with a bridal party and a huge puffy dress. We’ve really focused on what WE want from the day and at some stages we’ve had to step back and be like hang on is that something we want to even happen.

 

PS: it might sound like I’m whinging and I’m not. It’s just a few unexpected things that have popped up. We’re loving being engaged and are so excited for the wedding in 2017!

 


Have you got engaged young? What were your experiences?


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Sarah About Sarah
I'm a retail manager by day and a blogger by night aiming to bring you the newest beauty, fashion and lifestyle news. More Than Adored was created to help beauty lovers, like myself, make informed decisions when it comes to buying new goodies.

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20 Comments

  1. 1

    Firstly, congratulations! I sometimes wonder what people would think if I were in the same position, I’m also 22. But at the end of day, it’s about what’s right for you & your relationship. All the best for the big day x

  2. 3

    Ah this is honestly so interesting to read! I’m 22 now & I can imagine my friends thoughts if I was to say I was engaged. I’m much more mature than them (not to sound grim & cocky!!) & have different aims/values in life. But just enjoy your engagement! I can’t even imagine the happiness surrounding it, honestly. Congratulations!! Keep us updated on your journey :)

    Katie // wordsbykatie.com

    • 4

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it Katie! It’s interesting to stand back and have a look at the different people and their values/goals. It just goes to show you can connect with people who aren’t like you. We’re enjoying it so much and loving planning the wedding :) I’ll be doing so many wedding posts after the date next year and I cannot wait to share it all with you x

  3. 5
  4. 7

    This was really interesting to read! I can definitely understand that at 22 there must be a lot to take on board in terms of adjusting and other people’s opinions, but everyone has a different pace and different values – so just enjoy your engagement!

    nueyork.blogspot.com

  5. 9

    It’s funny when you say the older generation say it’s too young even though way back in the day, that was the norm. I have friends that had babies at 22 and I thought that was young but really, it’s whatever suits the person or couple. All my friends are at different stages of their lives and that’s all good too. We can celebrate different things together but talking about wedding stuff is always exciting!
    I found pinterest was great with looking at groom attire when I was looking for suits. Honestly, what is the norm these days??? I got married overseas, no family came only 4 friends that happened to be in the same country and were able to be there otherwise it would have been just us two. I didn’t do the traditional big Chinese reception and apparently the dates that I chose were bad luck oh well! You stick to what you are comfortable with and don’t try and please other people. =) Great post by the way!

    xo Kat @ Katness

    • 10

      That’s SO true Kat! My Nan was married at 19 lol! Maybe it’s because they wished they didn’t? Who knows. I didn’t know that’s how you did it? That’s so cool! We can’t wait for our day and although I’m nervous about the reaction of my family because it’s very different at the same time I know it’s a true reflection on our relationship. Don’t even get me started on the invitation list… That’s caused so much drama haha xD

  6. 11

    Great post. My eldest daughter is in a relationship at the tender age of 20. They have been together for approx. a year and a half and she has such a different life to many of her peers. She is settled in her job with a completed diploma and living between home and her boyfriends. She has found it tough with her friends as they are feeling left out. Middle ground is hard to find as she is working 9-5 five days a week. I say enjoy life and your engagement. It will all fall into place. thank you for sharing. Hugs V x

  7. 13

    I’m definitely not engaged or married but it’s so funny how people expect everyone to have a cookie cutter wedding in a church, with a catered reception with a sit down dinner, bride in a white puffy dress, speeches by the fathers, the father walking her down the aisle, the traditional wedding vows, etc. Personally I’m not fussed either way about getting married and my partner knows that, but if I were to get married there are so many “traditions” that I just think are absurd and so outdated. I think it’s great you’re throwing away something as ingrained as a bridal party because who says your wedding has to follow a strict procedure just because everyone else does the same thing?

    Jessica – littlehenrylee.net

    • 14

      Haha it’s funny because everything you mentioned we’re not doing (except wedding vows but we’re writing our own and they’ll be fun not ‘I give myself too you’.. Spew). I think it’s ridiculous that they still exist especially when you look at where some traditions stem from!

  8. 15
    • 16

      Thanks Kristina! Absolutely nothing wrong with travelling. I cannot wait to get a few trips done after the wedding. Enjoy your travels xxx

  9. 17

    I completely understand you on the “being at different stages” feeling, even though it’s not like there’s a set list.
    I’m 24, have lived with my partner a few years and we recently got a puppy. We’re saving to buy our first house, after living out of home for 5+ years. Many of my friends still live at home and will often need to leave outings because “mum’s wondering when I’ll be home for dinner”.

    It does feel quite isolating sometimes but I guess we’ll be the ones they all look to when they get to the step of house hunting, getting a puppy, babies or weddings.

    I feel ya!

    Maddie | http://www.maddiesbeautyspot.com

  10. 18

    People tend to forget that marriage is a very intimate and personal thing. You and your fiancee have chosen to take this step together. Honestly it shouldn’t matter how old you are or how long you have been together, or whether or not you have a bridal party, a big puffy dress or if you decide to get married at midnight on a boat – it’s all completely up to you and your fiancee. My partner and I have been together a long time so marriage has been discussed, it’s not a priority at this stage in our lives but it’s something we will do. I have a very non-traditional approach and the mere mention of it to some people results in them being disgusted with how “lightly” I’m taking it. Don’t let them get you down – your day is going to be amazing, and the only way you’ll truly enjoy it is if you do it the way you want to do it! :) xx

  11. 19

    Hey Sarah

    I just found your blog while looking for new lifestyle blogs to read, anyway I got engaged at 21 and was married at 23 so I know exactly what you mean about the whole “my friends are in different stages of their personal lives”. I know alot of my friends thought I was crazy, and that I hadn’t “lived/experienced enough” yet…I don’t know when having more than one sexual partner defined the fact that you’ve lived…3 and a half years later I still get comments like “But you have your whole life ahead of you, You’re so young or Why did you get married so young”. It won’t get better but as long as you are happy in you relationship and you’re sure of your decision the screw the norms and the expexctations of everyone else! Your happiness is more important than their opinions so just keep doing you!

    Good luck with the planning, it’s the best!
    xx
    Simone
    http://www.simplysimone.me

    • 20

      Hi Simone! Thanks for reading.. It’s funny isn’t it? I wouldn’t be getting married if I wasn’t 100% happy with the relationship or the situation regardless of age! It’s comforting to know other people get those comments but shitty people feel the need to say that sort of junk in the first place. I’m popping over to have a peep at your site now xx

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