It really has been a strange week for me.
For the first time in a long time I felt anxious, panicky and not myself. I’m a fairly open and honest person IRL as well as online and it’s been weird to deal with. People say the period of your life when you get married is your happiest and I totally agree but for some reason I felt this wave of being super down. I even said to Isaac that I feel guilty about feeling it BECAUSE my life is so ace. I’ve never really spoken about anxiety online because when I started up my blog it was a shitty period but it was on the tail-end of that bad period of my life so I never really felt as though I needed too talk about it. Plus there is the whole blogger-anxiety-for-attention-thing.
Now it’s a weird one.
I had a mild panic attack in the shower (where most of my past panic attacks have occurred in the past) this weekend after a week of feeling really off. I’m okay but it’s that feeling of the guilt I just can’t seem to stomach. I am happy. I have a great life and have had the most amazing start to 2017 ever. BUT this has happened. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s one of those I really don’t think alot of people will get because ‘oh my god your life is great you just got married, honeymooned and have been having so much fun’ but these things don’t really take into consideration how fucking awesome you’re doing do they?
I’ve heard some people get the post wedding blues because they’re not planning or focusing on the day anymore. Hmmm I don’t think that’s me because I’m still in loved up dreamland. Why miss it? I cherish it and feel excited that it has been and gone. I’ve put it down to lack of a routine and being organised – something I thrive off. Since being back from all that fun stuff I’ve been in emergency with my fucked up hand, had two weddings that meant travelling away and then this week I had the worst UTI of my life. For those who have ever had a UTI will feel me when I say all I want is for my vajay to stop burning. It’s been hell made even worse by a doctor giving me the incorrect meds. Ugh. Hopefully now I’m on the right thing I’ll be okay.
You may have noticed I didn’t post on here this week and haven’t been around much on social media and this is why. It’s been a strange week of dealing with emotions I haven’t felt in years. I know I’ll be okay though. I know it’ll pass and once our lives settle back down I will feel alot better. I also feel super proud because this time around instead of freaking out in my head for months on end I have reached out to Isaac.
I don’t need a pity party about what has happened but I did feel like I wanted to share this with all of you awesome peeps because we shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling out of sorts or having bouts of shitty times regardless of where we are at with our lives. We will all be okay.
I'm a retail manager by day and a blogger by night aiming to bring you the newest beauty, fashion and lifestyle news. More Than Adored was created to help beauty lovers, like myself, make informed decisions when it comes to buying new goodies.