WHY SOCIAL MEDIA COMMUNITIES ARE MAKING ME MAD

Ahh social media. She’s such a lighthearted babe one day and thorny bitch the next. How are we ever meant to keep up?

 

If you clicked on this post and are actually interested in what I have to say why thank you. Grab a cuppa because I have a feeling this is going to be a lengthy ramble on the topic.

 

You see a few months ago I had what I THOUGHT was FOMO… You know that stupid feeling you get when you get invited to an epic karaoke night and even though you hate singing and stages you go along anyways just so you don’t miss out? It’s that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that isn’t related to the dairy you accidiently ate earlier that day. But this time was different. This time I wasn’t invited. A bunch of ladies from a particular niche were (one I would totally class myself as apart of) and it looked like a good time but somehow the handpicked selection of attendees were what suited the organiser rather then being inclusive of everyone. Crazy right? And it was one of those things where errrryyything about the event was alllllll about supporting, including and networking with a group of women I am categorised as – as are 30+ others who were conveniently forgotten. Can we just assume our invites were lost in the mail babezzzz?

 

It sounds as though I’m salty. Part of me is and I have no problem admitting that. Hi my name is Sarah and I am salty.

But another part of me is just SAD. Sad because organisations, networks, individuals and groups promote this mysterious land of inclusion but their actions tell a completely different story. And wise Abraham Linc-dog once said ‘actions speak louder than words’ or if you wanna modernise it more than your 140 characters on Twitter.

 

Social media is an incredible thing because it is giving people the power to fuck shit up. Everyday people are powering to success thanks to the internet. Look at Jane Lu, Elle Ferguson or Margaret Zhang. There are millions of possibilities right at our spoilt fingertips. You don’t want to go back to your boring desk job and have some epic idea for a product you can make because you are so freaking clever? Fuck yeah you can do it. Have a passion for making incredible food flatlays and wanna make that your full time job? Shit yes no worries. The fact is people are able to do some really cool things thanks to the likes, follows, comments and all that junk. It’s super cool. I’m not hating on the ‘gram or FB/blogs/youtube or anything (that’d be totally weird if I was) it is just the way the digital world has evolved over the past 10 years.

 

What I don’t love about the platform is the hierarchies that form within communities. The way it people make other people feel. All of a sudden I’m getting flashbacks to high school when I was told I couldn’t sit with the popular girls on the steps because I had a friend they didn’t like (SOOOO GOSSIP GIRL right? And yes it did happen and from that point on I wasn’t popular anymore). Now it’s people creating networking events, clubs, blogger groups and promoting this magical land where everyone is supportive and nobody is ever left out and we just love each other so much. It’s amazzzzinnnggggggggggg darling. However there are people who ARE left out, conveniently forgotten about and I don’t find that okay.

 

Don’t get me twisted I am a complete homebody and I deal fine by myself. I have never ever had housemates (apart from Noons poor dude), I’ve never really needed a tick of approval from anyone but myself. I am okay on my own. When I see high school petty groups like this it just makes the little mad gremlin inside me come out. What makes people who are ‘in charge’ events/clubs/groups or whatever it is think that this hypocrisy is cool?

 

Maybe I am too compassionate. Just last night I cried in an old episode of Gossip Girl (unintentional 2nd reference to GG but I am currently rewatching the series and it is as FAB as ever) when Jenny goes CRAY CRAY with power and then it alls bites her in the butt so she goes back to Rufus. His face killed me. WAHHH. Why you so cute and love your daughter so much Ruf? ADORBS! Isaac just laughed at me. Maybe I just care too much about other peoples feelings and take other peoples pain on.

 

But the way I see it is – you can do these epic events, organise these communities and promote women supporting women and not be a jerk.

 

In life we all have choices. You can choose to send out invited to the 50 women in the community or you can choose to invite your 20 friends even if they aren’t really involved as much as others. I think deep down most people are aware of whether what they’re doing in morally right or wrong. For me? I’ve made the choice to step back because it began taking a toll on me, as I said, someone who generally doesn’t give a shit what other people are doing or saying. I’ve unfollowed, stopped wasting my braincells thinking about it and decided that the anger I feel towards Australia Post a good day is more of a priority than these people with their negative vibes.

 

Moral of the story: don’t choose to be a jerk. And also for people like me – don’t let the jerks make you feel or act like a jerk because us less jerky-of-jerks don’t deserve to have the jerks makes us feel like the biggest jerk of all. Jerks.

 

 


Now after almost 1,000 words of dribble. How do YOU feel about that?


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Sarah About Sarah
I'm a retail manager by day and a blogger by night aiming to bring you the newest beauty, fashion and lifestyle news. More Than Adored was created to help beauty lovers, like myself, make informed decisions when it comes to buying new goodies.

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16 Comments

  1. 1

    This is such a strong post! Definetely appreaciate the honesty in this, such an awesome point of view. High school cliques are never cool!

    • 2

      Thank you very much lovely! I was nervous about posting it but it’s not cool to be a jerk so I felt like I had too.

  2. 3

    WOO for honesty, go Sarah! As a victim of past clique-y-ness, I know I’ve definitely been reluctant to forge female friendships post-school as a result of that.

    I’m a walking contradiction – I care about upsetting other people (I do it unintentionally most of the time since I have a faulty filter), yet also say “if you don’t like me, that’s your problem, not mine”. Depending on the day & how sensitive I’m feeling, my position changes…but I figure that’s ok. I still would encourage people not to be jerks though & would encourage those of us who feel we’re non-jerks not to be affected by it. At the end of the day, some things are just not worth the emotional brain space.

    Shell // The Novice Life

  3. 5

    I agree whole heartedly. I remember when I first became a mum and all these mummy bloggers and insta mummies were always harping on about finding your tribe and blah blah blah. Yet every time I would reach out to them or try to spark up a convo because admittedly I wanted to be part of such a “tribe” I either just got ignored or some generic emoji in response.
    It honestly seems like you can only become part of any kind of group online if you have something to offer or you have the appropriate status or number of followers.
    I think this is a major reason why I’m just not that into it anymore. It’s hard to make genuine connections online now because it seems that everyone has an agenda.

    • 6

      Haha it’s crazy isn’t it? I’ve been in a similar position (obvs) and it makes it hard to make those connections that are just celebrating each others wins… It is so sad!

  4. 7

    It’s irritating seeing people who preach positivity or supporting each other/women supporting women do the exact opposite. I try to remain true to myself, I know that although I try to support other women and remain positive that I have those times when I can be a complete and utter bitch; we all have those times but to try to sweep them away and act as though they never happened is BS and frankly immature yet such a surprisingly large number of people/companies do this.

    Taylor | iamtaylorlynette.blogspot.com

    • 8

      I find it more irritating that brands/people/communities RAVE about how supportive they are but then they are anything but. We can all be bitches at times :P

      • 9

        I guess this was kind of what I was trying to say just worded a little differently. I just wish we could all leave high school behind us but it seems no matter where you are in life you always have to deal with the bullshit, haha.

  5. 11

    So agree Sarah. I feel like I’ve found a good group of chicks I like to surround myself with in different circles (we cross over in lots of these!) and try to forget the exclusive jerk club. I have found that concentrating my energy into the good kids makes the bad fade away <3

    Kate | themintedblog.com

  6. 13

    While I totally get that if a brand is hosting an event they probably have a budget and can only cater for X number of people, if it’s a blogger-organised meetup then that’s a totally different story. The only way to actually be supportive of others and all girl-power and basically be a decent person is to make it an open invite so that anyone who wants to come along can. Unless it’s a private event like a birthday (or like I said a brand’s event) then there’s really no excuse for that kind of attitude. But there are people like that everywhere in life, the kind of people who feel bigger when they put others down and who would rather be social climbers and tread on people on their way up. But eventually everyone sees them for who they are because no one likes that kind of attitude (except other people who have it as well). I guess just take comfort in the fact that you’re a nice person even if not everyone else is.

    littlehenrylee.net

    • 14

      Brands – of course I totally get there can be number caps etc. Everyday people – why you being so jerky? Haha it’s a shame some people choose to do the shitty thing but as you said it makes them feel bigger.

  7. 15

    The beauty bloggers that I know and communicate with are so nice and inclusive but there is definitely certain brands and PR companies that just continue to invite the same people to events and for collaborations and it’s so frustrating. Even if they switched up their memberships to these events every now and then it would be more understandable but choosing to leave people out that have the same niche and work really hard is not okay! Grrr. I’m angry for you!

    Sarah | Bows & Pleats

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