BUT WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS NOW?

What are your plans now?

 

It’s the question everyone seems to be asking us. The old people in our life (grandparents and aunties) to older siblings and even friends who are our age. I never thought that marriage would bring with the bag of responsibilities to know what the fuck you’re doing with life. We have made it quite clear to the people in our live that we don’t plan on having a baby right now so instead of ‘oh when are you having a baby?’ we get ‘so what are your plans now?’

 

I find it really overwhelming because as far as I’m concerned I married my best friend and we had a cool party. Never did I think that after that I had to have my life figured out to preach to everyone. Don’t get me wrong I know alot of the people who are asking us have good intentions but it’s the preconception that we have things all planned out – we don’t. We don’t even know what we are having for dinner tonight let alone our big life plans.

 

All I know is that I need some time at home to recharge and get my health back on track so for a few months I’d like to keep things pretty quiet and simple. Do I need to know more than that? I don’t know. Do other people meticulously plan out their years in advance? If yes, how the fuck do they do that? I love a plan and thrive off short term plans however how do people know in a years time they’ll have a baby or buy a house? When I was chatting to friend earlier this year she said that she knew her partner was going to propose last year because it was in their plan that by the end of 2016 they’d be engaged then married in 2017. Isn’t that crazy? Doesn’t that take the fun and spontaneity out of life?

 

Maybe it’s because we’ve gotten married young (I’m 23 and Isaac is 25) that we feel slightly overwhelmed by the questions. I guess majority of people get married with the plans to have kids – they get hitched when they’re ready to settle. For us it was the opposite. We got married because we knew we were going to do all that grown up stuff together and we really fucking liked each other not because we were ready to settle down. I feel like our lives are so fun now!

 

It’s just overwhelming. I feel this ridiculous pull from people to know or when we say ‘we might go overseas next year’ people are looking for clarity in our answers and it is funny to see everyone’s reaction to our answers. I’m a homebody and sometimes I just say ‘no plans yet I just want to have a quiet year this year’ people are confused. I don’t feel bad about our lack of plans or guilty but it’s overwhelming when people from the outside are looking in almost judging our every move now we are married.

 

Dress is Steele available here


Have you guys ever felt this way?


 

Sarah About Sarah
I'm a retail manager by day and a blogger by night aiming to bring you the newest beauty, fashion and lifestyle news. More Than Adored was created to help beauty lovers, like myself, make informed decisions when it comes to buying new goodies.

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  • Unfortunately I think this is part & parcel of getting married (not that I’d know since I’m perpetually single & have been asked on too many occasions by others why that’s the case…thankfully my family don’t give a shit). Whilst people mean well, it’s really none of their business what you do with your life. Not everyone wants children, not everyone can have children & not everyone wants to rush out right away & have them (if they can). I say enjoy life with Isaac first, you’ve still got time to do all that stuff IF you wish to. Resist other people’s pressured intentions.

    Shell // The Novice Life

    • Thanks Shell! It’s a weird position to be in because I still see myself as soon young and although I do want kids it’s not something I feel like we need to rush out and do because we are now married….

  • I think we get this question at so many points in our lives (after school, after university, after marriage) and I think every time most of us will find ourselves in a position where we don’t know. I think, especially from the older generation, we get it because years ago it was normal to know the structure of your life and how it would go, simply because everyone’s basically went the same way (marriage, house, kids, job, etc). I think our generation is a lot more open to a more fluid and see what happens type of life. I love your mentality behind your reason to get married though – it sounds like recipe for a long and happy one – so congratulations :)

    Amy // http://www.thenoiseinwonderland.com

    • That is so true! There isn’t really a conventional ‘structure’ in our generation is there? I love that though. Everyone is so different and interesting!

      Thank you too! We defs got married for pretty simple reasons and I think that’s the way it should be :)

  • Kate Flint

    I have the same (but opposite) problem of “When are you guys getting married, you’ve been together so long!”. When I was 18 I thought I would be married by 22, kids by 25 and have everything wrapped up in a bow by the time I was 30. Life never goes to plan, and my ideas on when I wanted to get married and have kids changed as I’ve gotten older.

    I love the honesty you have about getting married, you just loved each other…isn’t that enough today?

    Enjoy your time not knowing what your plans are, I say :)

    Kate | themintedblog.com

    • Ahhhh that is so true! You would get that alot. Isn’t it ridiculously annoying? God I’m the same I thought I’d be having kids now at 23 but I love myself to much haha. Not saying kids are shit but I’m too self absorb and selfish – which is so not a bad thing.

      I feel like lots of people over complicate why they get married haha!

      • Kate Flint

        Haha I am the same way! Kids are cute but I also enjoy sleeping in and not having to look after anything except for a pet and a plant :P

  • That’s so funny that everyone wants to know what you’re doing next, as though now that you’re married you guys have it all planned out. Getting married doesn’t mean anything has to change between you guys, particularly if you’re not planning on having kids anytime soon, what else is there that you have to “do” together and report back to people about? Just enjoy your time together and work on whatever you were working on before and make major life decisions whenever you feel like it, not just because you’ve gotten married.

    littlehenrylee.net

  • In some respects, it’s totally understandable that people would ask what your next plans are because getting married is a pretty huge step in a relationship, but at the same time, it also doesn’t change anything between you two. Marriage doesn’t have to mean anything more than a celebration of your love and doesn’t have to lead to other huge, sweeping plans like kids. I’ve definitely been guilty of asking my friends who have been in longterm relationships when they’re getting married and then when they are married, when they’re having kids, but now I look at things more open-mindedly because I realise how annoying it must be to be on the receiving end of those questions. It’s so funny, one of my married friends with a kid said to my other married friend, “Don’t worry, when you do have one kid, soon you’ll be getting asked when you’re having the next one!” haha. In this day and age, people live their lives so differently and for me, I don’t know if I even want marriage or kids in the future, so now I’ve stopped being so presumptuous of other people’s lives. I’m definitely more down with the cool party type thing though, I could never imagine myself as a full on bride being the centre of attention. It’s just not me!

    Tenneil | Like Neon Love